Well, yesterday was weird. I had a heat reaction while I was at work yesterday. I wore a sweater (cotton, not incredibly heavy), and I decided to drink some herbal tea during the afternoon. The next thing I knew, I felt flushed and worn out. I quickly switched to cold water instead of tea, but I still felt tired. When I went to my Pilates class, I did not feel completely up to par. I'm proud of myself, though, because I did finish the class without wearing myself out. I recognized my limits and stopped when I needed to - at one point, I even got up and grabbed a cup of water.
One of my biggest fears about exercising is not being able to recognize my limits and pushing myself to where I was wearing myself out instead of building myself up. Last night was a prime example of not doing that. After the exercise. a shower, and dinner, I felt loads better.
Another cool thing about the exercise class is that I'm really starting to notice some progress. Whether it's more control over a Pilates move (I can do Rolling Like a Ball and actually roll when I want to instead of just flopping around spastically) or going deeper into a hamstring stretch, I'm seeing my body capable of doing some things it couldn't do at the beginning of the year.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Monday, February 24, 2003
MS Conference
I wasn't all that enthused about going, because it was foggy, it was early on a Saturday morning, and I had partied hard on Friday night. But my indifference quickly vanished, because the conference was quite informative. I had heard some of the stuff before, but as I pointed out to one of the company reps, you hear different things at different points in your illness, so some repetition can be good. I took some good notes and brought home some research updates to read later.
An MS advocate also spoke, and she talked about her ritual before taking her shots. Apparently, her crush on Chuck Norris is big enough to dull the pain of the shot, so she watches "Walker, Texas Ranger" before her shot. I immediately knew who I would substitute for Chuck Norris and decided that I need to start taping "Alias" to watch before my shot, since I'm a big Michael Vartan fan. We rented a movie on Saturday night, One Hour Photo. Robin Williams stars in it, but guess who else is in it? Yup. So I got to see if my variation of her ritual would work. I have to say, the shot didn't hurt that night.
Get With the Program
I mentioned in my last entry that I'm reading this book and following the plan. I successfully completed a week at Phase 1, drinking at least 6 glasses of water every day, completing my written exercises, and doing the exercises at least 3 days (I did 4 days). The book suggests staying in Phase 1 for 1-3 weeks before proceeding to the second phase. In Phase 2, I add one more glass of water per day, and I do the functional exercises 4 days a week. I also start to add cardio exercise and limit my alcohol consumption.
I guess I consider myself in Phase 1 1/2 right now. I'm going to start integrating the next phase stuff this week, but I'll consider it a successful week if I complete the Phase 1 requirements again. Anything on top of that will just be gravy. I've had a tendency in the past to try and do too much too fast, so I don't want to set myself up for failure.
I wasn't all that enthused about going, because it was foggy, it was early on a Saturday morning, and I had partied hard on Friday night. But my indifference quickly vanished, because the conference was quite informative. I had heard some of the stuff before, but as I pointed out to one of the company reps, you hear different things at different points in your illness, so some repetition can be good. I took some good notes and brought home some research updates to read later.
An MS advocate also spoke, and she talked about her ritual before taking her shots. Apparently, her crush on Chuck Norris is big enough to dull the pain of the shot, so she watches "Walker, Texas Ranger" before her shot. I immediately knew who I would substitute for Chuck Norris and decided that I need to start taping "Alias" to watch before my shot, since I'm a big Michael Vartan fan. We rented a movie on Saturday night, One Hour Photo. Robin Williams stars in it, but guess who else is in it? Yup. So I got to see if my variation of her ritual would work. I have to say, the shot didn't hurt that night.
Get With the Program
I mentioned in my last entry that I'm reading this book and following the plan. I successfully completed a week at Phase 1, drinking at least 6 glasses of water every day, completing my written exercises, and doing the exercises at least 3 days (I did 4 days). The book suggests staying in Phase 1 for 1-3 weeks before proceeding to the second phase. In Phase 2, I add one more glass of water per day, and I do the functional exercises 4 days a week. I also start to add cardio exercise and limit my alcohol consumption.
I guess I consider myself in Phase 1 1/2 right now. I'm going to start integrating the next phase stuff this week, but I'll consider it a successful week if I complete the Phase 1 requirements again. Anything on top of that will just be gravy. I've had a tendency in the past to try and do too much too fast, so I don't want to set myself up for failure.
Friday, February 21, 2003
Oops. It's been a while since I've updated this, hasn't it?
Publicity? for my blog
I was so excited. Our local paper was doing an article on local webloggers, and they contacted me about an interview. We had a 10-minute phone interview, and she talked to me about the possibility of getting my picture taken. Well, the article appeared, and the only thing they used from my interview was...my age. I'm sure that the lives of my fellow Raleighites are so much richer now that they know I'm 35. I've gotten one email based on that article, from a guy who wanted me to read his book. The book has nothing to do with MS, he just wanted someone to read it. Nope.
Upcoming MS Events
Tomorrow, I'm heading to Durham for a half-day conference on clinical trials. Should be an interesting update on the ongoing research.
The MS Walk is April 5. I haven't signed up yet, because I heard there was a chance that the Pooch Parade would be held on the same weekend. The doggies had so much fun that I have to make sure to participate again this year. I don't think that's going to happen, though, so I can sign up for the walk. Time to start training! My friend Donna mentioned putting together a team, so we're trying to think of a cool name. After all, I was one of the top individual fundraisers for the Pooch Parade (thanks to y'all!!!!), so if our team name gets published, we don't want it to be something stupid. Once I do sign up, I'll include a link here, so people can donate if they choose.
The new medicine
I've been on my new medicine (in addition to the Avonex) for the past two weeks, and things are going well. I've had some insomnia, but otherwise no bad side effects. The neurologist told me that my hip pain would probably lessen, and it has. Sleeping had been so difficult due to the pain, but it's subsided to only occasional twinges.
Exercising
I'm starting to get a more regular exercise program going. The Pilates class is going so well that I'm going to sign up for the Mat 2 class starting in March. Both Tim and I agree that I've been getting a lot of benefits from it and should continue. I've also been reading Get With the Program by Bob Greene (Oprah's trainer), and have started to follow that program as well. Right now, I'm in Phase 1. I've completed some journaling exercises, and I'm making sure I drink at least 6 glasses of water each day. Most days, I drink more than that. He also has a series of "functional exercises" that I've completed three days this week. The fourth day, I went to a makeup Pilates class.
I had let my weight go after getting my diagnosis, but I'm working on getting back to a healthy weight. More importantly, I'm just working on being healthier in general. If I exercise, I can cut down on the fatigue and pain and be better prepared to get through each day.
Publicity? for my blog
I was so excited. Our local paper was doing an article on local webloggers, and they contacted me about an interview. We had a 10-minute phone interview, and she talked to me about the possibility of getting my picture taken. Well, the article appeared, and the only thing they used from my interview was...my age. I'm sure that the lives of my fellow Raleighites are so much richer now that they know I'm 35. I've gotten one email based on that article, from a guy who wanted me to read his book. The book has nothing to do with MS, he just wanted someone to read it. Nope.
Upcoming MS Events
Tomorrow, I'm heading to Durham for a half-day conference on clinical trials. Should be an interesting update on the ongoing research.
The MS Walk is April 5. I haven't signed up yet, because I heard there was a chance that the Pooch Parade would be held on the same weekend. The doggies had so much fun that I have to make sure to participate again this year. I don't think that's going to happen, though, so I can sign up for the walk. Time to start training! My friend Donna mentioned putting together a team, so we're trying to think of a cool name. After all, I was one of the top individual fundraisers for the Pooch Parade (thanks to y'all!!!!), so if our team name gets published, we don't want it to be something stupid. Once I do sign up, I'll include a link here, so people can donate if they choose.
The new medicine
I've been on my new medicine (in addition to the Avonex) for the past two weeks, and things are going well. I've had some insomnia, but otherwise no bad side effects. The neurologist told me that my hip pain would probably lessen, and it has. Sleeping had been so difficult due to the pain, but it's subsided to only occasional twinges.
Exercising
I'm starting to get a more regular exercise program going. The Pilates class is going so well that I'm going to sign up for the Mat 2 class starting in March. Both Tim and I agree that I've been getting a lot of benefits from it and should continue. I've also been reading Get With the Program by Bob Greene (Oprah's trainer), and have started to follow that program as well. Right now, I'm in Phase 1. I've completed some journaling exercises, and I'm making sure I drink at least 6 glasses of water each day. Most days, I drink more than that. He also has a series of "functional exercises" that I've completed three days this week. The fourth day, I went to a makeup Pilates class.
I had let my weight go after getting my diagnosis, but I'm working on getting back to a healthy weight. More importantly, I'm just working on being healthier in general. If I exercise, I can cut down on the fatigue and pain and be better prepared to get through each day.
Monday, February 03, 2003
Well, I got through the business trip just fine, only to turn around and head right back out of town for a funeral. And then when I got back to town, another funeral. Needless to say, I was exhausted by all of that. Tim gave me my shot right before we left town. I vegged out in the car, but I wasn't myself the whole day. I just laid in the guest room and tried to nap. I felt like a new person the next day. Everyone was quite understanding of my situation, and that helped me a lot.
Since I've been back, I've been trying to get back into some routine and take care of myself. I did have a follow-up appointment with the neurologist. MS-wise, I'm doing fine and not showing any active symptoms at this point. I've just got some other health issues that I need to be addressing right now. Like most folks who make New Year's Resolutions, I put "losing weight" on the list. The doctor ordered blood work, and we know that my thyroid is not causing my weight gain or fatigue.
This weekend was much calmer. I did have to work on Saturday, but I didn't get up early. On Sunday, I decided not to set an alarm, and I woke up at 11am! My body needed the rest.
So I'll be starting some new medicine in the next week that will hopefully alleviate some of the other health stuff. On the downside, I might have trouble sleeping on this new drug. Oh, great. I woke up at 4:45 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so the last thing I need is a drug that could cause even more nights like that. We'll see how things work out. On the plus side, my doctor thinks it could help with some of the hip pain I've been having. That would be a welcome relief, since my yoga tapes and Pilates mat classes aren't getting it done on their own.
Another plus side...my doctor is quite optimistic when it comes to my future mobility. I know he can't say with certainty that I'll never have problems, but it's sure nice to know that he thinks it's going to be less likely in my case. After all, each case of MS is different, and there are such a variety of symptoms.
I'm working on getting some routines in place to help me chip away at my long "To Do" list. There's a cool website called FlyLady that talks about creating order out of chaos. I've been reading for a long while and doing things haphazardly, but now I'm going to be more diligent. I'm starting off by creating simple morning and evening routines, and I'll also try to spend at least 15 minutes per day decluttering.
I'm also getting my "To Do" list better organized, thanks to the computer. We had to get a new one earlier this month, and I've tried to take advantage of it. Our old one was so slow that it didn't help me out to try and use software, spreadsheets, etc. to get organized. This one is much faster, and has been quite useful already. Once I finish setting up our finances and some other stuff on it, I'll be ready for some major computer-geek fun. Yeah, I know, not everyone thinks that sort of stuff is fun. But I enjoy it.
Since I've been back, I've been trying to get back into some routine and take care of myself. I did have a follow-up appointment with the neurologist. MS-wise, I'm doing fine and not showing any active symptoms at this point. I've just got some other health issues that I need to be addressing right now. Like most folks who make New Year's Resolutions, I put "losing weight" on the list. The doctor ordered blood work, and we know that my thyroid is not causing my weight gain or fatigue.
This weekend was much calmer. I did have to work on Saturday, but I didn't get up early. On Sunday, I decided not to set an alarm, and I woke up at 11am! My body needed the rest.
So I'll be starting some new medicine in the next week that will hopefully alleviate some of the other health stuff. On the downside, I might have trouble sleeping on this new drug. Oh, great. I woke up at 4:45 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so the last thing I need is a drug that could cause even more nights like that. We'll see how things work out. On the plus side, my doctor thinks it could help with some of the hip pain I've been having. That would be a welcome relief, since my yoga tapes and Pilates mat classes aren't getting it done on their own.
Another plus side...my doctor is quite optimistic when it comes to my future mobility. I know he can't say with certainty that I'll never have problems, but it's sure nice to know that he thinks it's going to be less likely in my case. After all, each case of MS is different, and there are such a variety of symptoms.
I'm working on getting some routines in place to help me chip away at my long "To Do" list. There's a cool website called FlyLady that talks about creating order out of chaos. I've been reading for a long while and doing things haphazardly, but now I'm going to be more diligent. I'm starting off by creating simple morning and evening routines, and I'll also try to spend at least 15 minutes per day decluttering.
I'm also getting my "To Do" list better organized, thanks to the computer. We had to get a new one earlier this month, and I've tried to take advantage of it. Our old one was so slow that it didn't help me out to try and use software, spreadsheets, etc. to get organized. This one is much faster, and has been quite useful already. Once I finish setting up our finances and some other stuff on it, I'll be ready for some major computer-geek fun. Yeah, I know, not everyone thinks that sort of stuff is fun. But I enjoy it.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Time to register another first - my first business trip since my diagnosis.
I couldn't go just anywhere. I had to go to New England...in the dead of winter...during a cold snap. What a rude awakening to hear "It's zero degrees outside" when my alarm went off this morning. I was a bit nervous about this trip. I'm completely on my own. Granted, I did this all the time when I was consulting. But then, I didn't know about the MS. It's different when you throw an illness into the loop.
And how's it going? Fine. I'm staying in a delightful inn in Westborough, MA where I feel pampered. The room is huge and toasty, with a couch and plenty of room for my yoga mat. And there's a full kitchen downstairs, so I don't have to go out at night in the ghastly cold. Funny, when I'm home, I love to go out to eat, but in this weather, I much prefer hanging out at the inn, munching on a rotisserie chicken. The only nerve-wracking part was trying to find the inn that first night. Note to self: Print out the freakin' directions from the Internet before going on any trip. I made fun of the van driver who couldn't get a college group to LaGuardia Airport, but yet I neglected to get my own directions this trip.
I have made some concessions for my illness, but nothing too drastic. I prepaid for gas for the rental car. That way, I don't have to worry about finding a gas station in downtown Boston by myself after dark in below-zero windchills when I'm in a hurry. It's worth not having to deal with that stress. And I bought a bunch of water bottles at the grocery store yesterday, so that I can keep myself properly hydrated. Then there's my shot - I moved that out to Saturdays, just in case I have a problem getting home from this trip. Since they're calling for snow in NC tonight and tomorrow, I'm glad I've taken that precaution. I also left room in my carry-on bag for an extra change of clothes and my toothbrush, in case I get to call Logan Airport my home-away-from-home tomorrow night.
I couldn't go just anywhere. I had to go to New England...in the dead of winter...during a cold snap. What a rude awakening to hear "It's zero degrees outside" when my alarm went off this morning. I was a bit nervous about this trip. I'm completely on my own. Granted, I did this all the time when I was consulting. But then, I didn't know about the MS. It's different when you throw an illness into the loop.
And how's it going? Fine. I'm staying in a delightful inn in Westborough, MA where I feel pampered. The room is huge and toasty, with a couch and plenty of room for my yoga mat. And there's a full kitchen downstairs, so I don't have to go out at night in the ghastly cold. Funny, when I'm home, I love to go out to eat, but in this weather, I much prefer hanging out at the inn, munching on a rotisserie chicken. The only nerve-wracking part was trying to find the inn that first night. Note to self: Print out the freakin' directions from the Internet before going on any trip. I made fun of the van driver who couldn't get a college group to LaGuardia Airport, but yet I neglected to get my own directions this trip.
I have made some concessions for my illness, but nothing too drastic. I prepaid for gas for the rental car. That way, I don't have to worry about finding a gas station in downtown Boston by myself after dark in below-zero windchills when I'm in a hurry. It's worth not having to deal with that stress. And I bought a bunch of water bottles at the grocery store yesterday, so that I can keep myself properly hydrated. Then there's my shot - I moved that out to Saturdays, just in case I have a problem getting home from this trip. Since they're calling for snow in NC tonight and tomorrow, I'm glad I've taken that precaution. I also left room in my carry-on bag for an extra change of clothes and my toothbrush, in case I get to call Logan Airport my home-away-from-home tomorrow night.
Thursday, January 16, 2003
It's snowing. Not as much as I would like, but it is snowing. I feel like a 7-year-old, hoping enough snow falls that school will be cancelled. I have a feeling I'm going to be disappointed.
Pilates
I've been having a lot of fun with my Pilates classes. I went to my second mat class this week. I have a lot of work to do, but I plan to practice a lot while I'm on my business trip next week.
Last night, I had a private equipment session. Pilates equipment looks like a cross between a torture chamber and a bed designed by Tim Burton. Between the challenge of the springs' resistance and the helpful trainer offering assisted stretching, I got a major workout. When I was in some of the positions, I thought, "Didn't they consider this torture during the medieval times?" But it felt wonderful. I've got two more sessions on my package, and then I have to figure out a way to be able to afford some more.
Pilates
I've been having a lot of fun with my Pilates classes. I went to my second mat class this week. I have a lot of work to do, but I plan to practice a lot while I'm on my business trip next week.
Last night, I had a private equipment session. Pilates equipment looks like a cross between a torture chamber and a bed designed by Tim Burton. Between the challenge of the springs' resistance and the helpful trainer offering assisted stretching, I got a major workout. When I was in some of the positions, I thought, "Didn't they consider this torture during the medieval times?" But it felt wonderful. I've got two more sessions on my package, and then I have to figure out a way to be able to afford some more.
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Exercise
They used to tell people with MS to take it easy. Exercise? Oh no, that just stresses the body...and you're dealing with enough stress, you poor thing.
Well, no more. Evidence is showing that exercise is quite good for people with MS. It's a way to reduce stress and fatigue, as well as improve strength and flexibility. I was exercising quite regularly before I knew I had MS, but then I joined the Slacker Club. I was just too ticked off at my body to make time for exercise, since, after all, I had been exercising and got sick anyway.
I'm getting back into the routine. During a Junior League silent auction, I picked up a Pilates package which includes some classes, some private equipment sessions, and a massage. I went to the first class last week, and I'm going to sign up for the whole 10-week beginning session. I think it will do me some good, especially helping to strengthen my back. My first private equipment session is tomorrow. And I haven't forgotten about the massage - I never would! - I'm just saving that.
I work in a different building now (same company, they just moved my group), and am literally down the hall from a workout room. So I have no excuse. I went yesterday after work and had a grueling session on the elliptical trainer. The problem is, it was too grueling, and now I'm run down. I forgot the cardinal rule for people with MS and for people resuming an exercise program after a long layoff:
Don't push too hard too fast.
I overdid it, and I'm paying for it. Sometimes when I push too hard, my right leg goes numb below the knee. Other times, I just get tired. No numbness this time, but I was one majorly tired puppy afterwards (and still am). On the plus side, I slept beautifully last night.
MS Events
This is a busy week on my MS Society chapter's schedule. On Thursday, there's the Working Women's luncheon and the monthly meeting of the self-help group. On Saturday, there's a conference for newly diagnosed from 9am to 3pm.
I'm going to lunch, but that's it. I've been to so many events over the past several months that I really feel like I'm pretty up-to-date on the news, research, information, etc. And I don't think it hurts for me to put a little distance every once in awhile. I don't want to bog my thoughts down so much into focusing on MS that I forget about the other things in my life.
This week is certainly a busy one, even without those events. I had a board meeting last night, Pilates class tonight, Junior League meeting tonight, and a Pilates exercise session tomorrow. Amidst all of this, I also have to get ready for my business trip next week. That trip is a big reason I'm staying home on Saturday. I'll need the time to do laundry, pack, and basically get things done so I don't feel overwhelmed before I get on the plane. And now the weathermen are saying we might get some winter weather on Friday. Hello???? What part of already busy is so hard to understand here?
Insurance Issues
Well, my company changed medical insurance providers, effective 1/1/03. Given the headaches I had getting my medicine and coverage straightened out in the first place, I was understandably nervous about this. I was reassured, though, when I saw all of my doctors listed as part of their network, and when I saw Avonex and the other MS drugs listed on their Preferred drug list for prescriptions. This meant that I'd get the lower copay and shouldn't have to worry about getting my medicine. I notified the delivery service that my insurance was changing, and left it at that.
Until I got the phone call that it wouldn't be that easy.
Apparently, I needed to use a new delivery service to get my medicine - my insurance doesn't work with my current carrier. I panicked. Oh great, I'm going to get put through more hoops, and have to deal with the nightmares of bureaucracy again. How many times would I get hung up during this round of phone calls.
Relax. It turned out to be much easier than that. I called, and they were willing to arrange my next delivery date on the spot. Just like before, I'll have it waiting in my carport when I get home on the designated day. The only thing they needed that I couldn't give them right away was a prescription, and they gave me the contact numbers so my doctor's office could phone or fax the prescription directly to them.
So I had one hoop to jump through - but it was a small one, so that's OK.
They used to tell people with MS to take it easy. Exercise? Oh no, that just stresses the body...and you're dealing with enough stress, you poor thing.
Well, no more. Evidence is showing that exercise is quite good for people with MS. It's a way to reduce stress and fatigue, as well as improve strength and flexibility. I was exercising quite regularly before I knew I had MS, but then I joined the Slacker Club. I was just too ticked off at my body to make time for exercise, since, after all, I had been exercising and got sick anyway.
I'm getting back into the routine. During a Junior League silent auction, I picked up a Pilates package which includes some classes, some private equipment sessions, and a massage. I went to the first class last week, and I'm going to sign up for the whole 10-week beginning session. I think it will do me some good, especially helping to strengthen my back. My first private equipment session is tomorrow. And I haven't forgotten about the massage - I never would! - I'm just saving that.
I work in a different building now (same company, they just moved my group), and am literally down the hall from a workout room. So I have no excuse. I went yesterday after work and had a grueling session on the elliptical trainer. The problem is, it was too grueling, and now I'm run down. I forgot the cardinal rule for people with MS and for people resuming an exercise program after a long layoff:
I overdid it, and I'm paying for it. Sometimes when I push too hard, my right leg goes numb below the knee. Other times, I just get tired. No numbness this time, but I was one majorly tired puppy afterwards (and still am). On the plus side, I slept beautifully last night.
MS Events
This is a busy week on my MS Society chapter's schedule. On Thursday, there's the Working Women's luncheon and the monthly meeting of the self-help group. On Saturday, there's a conference for newly diagnosed from 9am to 3pm.
I'm going to lunch, but that's it. I've been to so many events over the past several months that I really feel like I'm pretty up-to-date on the news, research, information, etc. And I don't think it hurts for me to put a little distance every once in awhile. I don't want to bog my thoughts down so much into focusing on MS that I forget about the other things in my life.
This week is certainly a busy one, even without those events. I had a board meeting last night, Pilates class tonight, Junior League meeting tonight, and a Pilates exercise session tomorrow. Amidst all of this, I also have to get ready for my business trip next week. That trip is a big reason I'm staying home on Saturday. I'll need the time to do laundry, pack, and basically get things done so I don't feel overwhelmed before I get on the plane. And now the weathermen are saying we might get some winter weather on Friday. Hello???? What part of already busy is so hard to understand here?
Insurance Issues
Well, my company changed medical insurance providers, effective 1/1/03. Given the headaches I had getting my medicine and coverage straightened out in the first place, I was understandably nervous about this. I was reassured, though, when I saw all of my doctors listed as part of their network, and when I saw Avonex and the other MS drugs listed on their Preferred drug list for prescriptions. This meant that I'd get the lower copay and shouldn't have to worry about getting my medicine. I notified the delivery service that my insurance was changing, and left it at that.
Until I got the phone call that it wouldn't be that easy.
Apparently, I needed to use a new delivery service to get my medicine - my insurance doesn't work with my current carrier. I panicked. Oh great, I'm going to get put through more hoops, and have to deal with the nightmares of bureaucracy again. How many times would I get hung up during this round of phone calls.
Relax. It turned out to be much easier than that. I called, and they were willing to arrange my next delivery date on the spot. Just like before, I'll have it waiting in my carport when I get home on the designated day. The only thing they needed that I couldn't give them right away was a prescription, and they gave me the contact numbers so my doctor's office could phone or fax the prescription directly to them.
So I had one hoop to jump through - but it was a small one, so that's OK.
Thursday, January 02, 2003
Resolutions
Like many folks, I made resolutions focused on improving my health during 2003. Had an interesting start to attempting to complete them, though.
I had gotten a talking pedometer at the MS Walk, but I had never taken the thing out of the box. Well, like a good resolution maker, I took it out yesterday and programmed it. I programmed in my step length and set the clock.
But...at 6am, I realized I should have turned off the alarm. It was weird waking to a mechanical voice saying, "The time is 6am. Your alarm was set for 6am." Luckily, I had planned to get up at 6am anyway.
So I'm getting ready, and I drive to work. As I turn the corner to my office, I notice the pedometer is no longer hooked to my waist. Dang it, I lost the thing already. Nope, it had just slipped off and was beside me on the seat. But as I'm walking into the office building...plop. It falls in the parking lot. Let's just say, it won't be doing any more talking.
I do have another talking pedometer that I got in a goodie bag. Let's see if this one can survive for more than 2 hours. If not, then I'll have to return to the mute version.
New Year's Eve Celebration
Well, it was the same...but different. Yes, I went out and partied. I danced like a crazy fool. I drank champagne and martinis and ate lump crabmeat. I stayed up until the wee small hours of 2003. And I had loads of fun.
It was a little different than last year, though. I started having back spasms early in the evening, but I danced through the pain. I refused to let this stupid disease mess up the party. And yeah, I got tired, but my friends were understanding when I said I had to take a break from dancing.
At 11pm, there was a Caribbean party, to celebrate New Year's in Barbados. This included fireworks on the veranda. It was too foggy to see much, but the temperature was absolutely delightful. I took a number of dance breaks out on that veranda during the evening - perfect way to avoid overheating.
I knew I would pay for it the next day, but I didn't have the traditional reveler's hangover. No, I was just very tired and had to take it easy all day.
MS News
Opened up my newspaper this morning to find out about some promising results published in the New England Journal of Medicine for a drug called Antegren. I had heard of it before from my neurologist. Since I am still of child-bearing age and have not committed to not getting pregnant, we decided I shouldn't start taking it - put as little medicine in my body as possible for the time being. Of course, the big news for my local paper was that it could be manufactured right here in the good ol' Research Triangle Park.
For more information, check out:
Test drug may mean new treatment for MS, Crohn's
Blog News
I'm probably going to play with a new template over the next few days, since it's been months since the Pooch Parade. Stay tuned for a new look for a new year.
Like many folks, I made resolutions focused on improving my health during 2003. Had an interesting start to attempting to complete them, though.
I had gotten a talking pedometer at the MS Walk, but I had never taken the thing out of the box. Well, like a good resolution maker, I took it out yesterday and programmed it. I programmed in my step length and set the clock.
But...at 6am, I realized I should have turned off the alarm. It was weird waking to a mechanical voice saying, "The time is 6am. Your alarm was set for 6am." Luckily, I had planned to get up at 6am anyway.
So I'm getting ready, and I drive to work. As I turn the corner to my office, I notice the pedometer is no longer hooked to my waist. Dang it, I lost the thing already. Nope, it had just slipped off and was beside me on the seat. But as I'm walking into the office building...plop. It falls in the parking lot. Let's just say, it won't be doing any more talking.
I do have another talking pedometer that I got in a goodie bag. Let's see if this one can survive for more than 2 hours. If not, then I'll have to return to the mute version.
New Year's Eve Celebration
Well, it was the same...but different. Yes, I went out and partied. I danced like a crazy fool. I drank champagne and martinis and ate lump crabmeat. I stayed up until the wee small hours of 2003. And I had loads of fun.
It was a little different than last year, though. I started having back spasms early in the evening, but I danced through the pain. I refused to let this stupid disease mess up the party. And yeah, I got tired, but my friends were understanding when I said I had to take a break from dancing.
At 11pm, there was a Caribbean party, to celebrate New Year's in Barbados. This included fireworks on the veranda. It was too foggy to see much, but the temperature was absolutely delightful. I took a number of dance breaks out on that veranda during the evening - perfect way to avoid overheating.
I knew I would pay for it the next day, but I didn't have the traditional reveler's hangover. No, I was just very tired and had to take it easy all day.
MS News
Opened up my newspaper this morning to find out about some promising results published in the New England Journal of Medicine for a drug called Antegren. I had heard of it before from my neurologist. Since I am still of child-bearing age and have not committed to not getting pregnant, we decided I shouldn't start taking it - put as little medicine in my body as possible for the time being. Of course, the big news for my local paper was that it could be manufactured right here in the good ol' Research Triangle Park.
For more information, check out:
Test drug may mean new treatment for MS, Crohn's
Blog News
I'm probably going to play with a new template over the next few days, since it's been months since the Pooch Parade. Stay tuned for a new look for a new year.
Monday, December 30, 2002
Just when I think I have this fatigue stuff beat, it comes back to rear its quite-ugly head. I took my shot on Saturday, since Tim was out of town on Friday. Well, Sunday, I was a useless waste of space. Even though I slept well that night, I woke up and was tired, tired, tired. I sat around for the rest of the morning and the early part of the afternoon on the couch. Sometimes, I was too tired to even read. I decided to get up and pay some bills, but even that little bit of activity was enough to exhaust me - I needed to nap for a few hours to recover. I had a simple dinner recipe picked out, but I wasn't up to cooking, so Tim picked up some Bojangles for us. I was worried that all of that sleeping/resting would make it difficult to fall asleep at bedtime, but no problem there.
On the plus side, if I have to be too tired to get up, better that it happened on a day when there was loads of sports on TV. I lost my fantasy football Super Bowl, but I still enjoyed watching the Panthers win.
Today was OK. I felt tired, but nowhere near the mind-numbing fatigue of yesterday. I made it through a whole work day and am looking forward to watching Wake Forest play in a bowl game while I eat some lovely crock pot vegetable soup I made.
I'm just hoping I have enough energy to enjoy the New Year's Eve party we're going to tomorrow night. There's going to be fabulous food, and I have a gorgeous dress to wear. I'm a little sad, thinking that I'll be more subdued than I was last year, when I danced like crazy the whole night. But I'll be with good friends and my honey, so I know I'll have a wonderful time.
On the plus side, if I have to be too tired to get up, better that it happened on a day when there was loads of sports on TV. I lost my fantasy football Super Bowl, but I still enjoyed watching the Panthers win.
Today was OK. I felt tired, but nowhere near the mind-numbing fatigue of yesterday. I made it through a whole work day and am looking forward to watching Wake Forest play in a bowl game while I eat some lovely crock pot vegetable soup I made.
I'm just hoping I have enough energy to enjoy the New Year's Eve party we're going to tomorrow night. There's going to be fabulous food, and I have a gorgeous dress to wear. I'm a little sad, thinking that I'll be more subdued than I was last year, when I danced like crazy the whole night. But I'll be with good friends and my honey, so I know I'll have a wonderful time.
Friday, December 27, 2002
My legs hurt.
While I was in the shower this morning, my right leg started to tingle. I thought this might be a sign that my shower was too hot. After all, I had been warned that I'd probably experience some heat sensitivity, and that it would not be unusual if I had a brief flare-up of symptoms during/after a hot shower. But even though the tingling has subsided, my legs still hurt.
It's probably just inactivity, just like if I didn't have MS. After all, I haven't exercised regularly in a long while, so I should feel some stiffness and soreness. I'm just getting over a cold too, so I'm looking forward to getting more active.
Yeah, I had a cold. I was told that one of the bright sides of having MS was that I would have fewer colds and other similar illnesses, since my immune system is hyperactive. No fair, I want my money back. I'm still getting colds. One of the few perks of this disease, and I haven't really enjoyed that yet. I want my money back.
While I was in the shower this morning, my right leg started to tingle. I thought this might be a sign that my shower was too hot. After all, I had been warned that I'd probably experience some heat sensitivity, and that it would not be unusual if I had a brief flare-up of symptoms during/after a hot shower. But even though the tingling has subsided, my legs still hurt.
It's probably just inactivity, just like if I didn't have MS. After all, I haven't exercised regularly in a long while, so I should feel some stiffness and soreness. I'm just getting over a cold too, so I'm looking forward to getting more active.
Yeah, I had a cold. I was told that one of the bright sides of having MS was that I would have fewer colds and other similar illnesses, since my immune system is hyperactive. No fair, I want my money back. I'm still getting colds. One of the few perks of this disease, and I haven't really enjoyed that yet. I want my money back.
Thursday, December 26, 2002
I survived the holidays.
C'mon, I'm not the only one who feels this way. But this year, the holidays were definitely tinged with bittersweet.
Like when I sat in the congregation at church for the Christmas cantata. The last time the choir performed a cantata, I had been up there, bawling my eyes out...because it had been two days after we found out I had MS. I had a solo that day, and I was falling apart in front of everyone. I did pull it together in time to sing, but that was a difficult hour, as the emotional impact of my diagnosis hit me right between the eyes. That was only 9 months ago. Seems like such a short time - and yet, it seems like a lifetime ago.
We went on our first trip since my diagnosis, heading up to New York City with a few dozen college students. Oh sure, we had gone away for the weekend to celebrate our fifth anniversary in June. But that had just been lounging around in a resort and spa for a few days. This was traveling, complete with the airport pains and desire to sightsee and getting sick because I was hanging around other sick people and learning that my MS was going to change things no matter how much I wished it wouldn't. We didn't have to worry about traveling with my MS medication, since we were gone for less than a week and had carefully scheduled out my shots. But we did have to travel with the disease.
I was OK the first day (Monday), but the pace and lack of sleep caught up with me on Tuesday. We were at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and I just knew that my body wasn't going to be able to handle a full day. Since we had tickets to the opera that night, and I had been told that particular opera was a long one, I was definitely concerned. And mad. I didn't have much time in NYC, and I didn't want to spend my afternoon lounging in front of a television. We had an early lunch, in hopes that the food and the rest would help rejuvenate me, but it wasn't enough. We ended up back in the hotel for an afternoon rest. Once we got to the opera, we had to head all the way up to the family circle (and those familiar with the Met know what I mean by ALL the way up), and I didn't realize how much that would take out of me. I sat on the aisle, disoriented and nauseous, wondering if I was going to be able to handle staying up there for the 3+ hours of the opera. Well, I was OK after a little while, but I have to confess - what saved me was a short nap during Act I. Yes, I went to the Met...and I slept. There, I said it. And I felt better, too!
I had fun, but it was a tough trip, and I blame my illness for that. Outside, it was very cold, but the buildings were nice and toasty. So I had to bundle up to go outside, but was way too hot once inside. Yeah, just what a heat-sensitive person needs. And when you're feeling worn out and unsteady, the last thing you want to be dealing with is large crowds of people bumping into you.
It was a sad realization that my MS is going to affect our vacation plans in the future. I used to enjoy getting up early, sightseeing until we were tired, taking a short nap, and then heading out for a nice dinner. But now, I have to get used to the fact that the sightseeing period is shorter and shorter, while the nap period is longer and longer. And it's so hard to plan a multi-day calendar of events when you're not sure how much energy you'll have left at the end of Day 1.
On the bright side, our next scheduled vacation is a long weekend at the Greenbrier, so I think I'll be able to enjoy that, MS or no. After all, it will have about the same pace as our anniversary weekend did, and that was a delightful and rejuvenating experience.
C'mon, I'm not the only one who feels this way. But this year, the holidays were definitely tinged with bittersweet.
Like when I sat in the congregation at church for the Christmas cantata. The last time the choir performed a cantata, I had been up there, bawling my eyes out...because it had been two days after we found out I had MS. I had a solo that day, and I was falling apart in front of everyone. I did pull it together in time to sing, but that was a difficult hour, as the emotional impact of my diagnosis hit me right between the eyes. That was only 9 months ago. Seems like such a short time - and yet, it seems like a lifetime ago.
We went on our first trip since my diagnosis, heading up to New York City with a few dozen college students. Oh sure, we had gone away for the weekend to celebrate our fifth anniversary in June. But that had just been lounging around in a resort and spa for a few days. This was traveling, complete with the airport pains and desire to sightsee and getting sick because I was hanging around other sick people and learning that my MS was going to change things no matter how much I wished it wouldn't. We didn't have to worry about traveling with my MS medication, since we were gone for less than a week and had carefully scheduled out my shots. But we did have to travel with the disease.
I was OK the first day (Monday), but the pace and lack of sleep caught up with me on Tuesday. We were at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and I just knew that my body wasn't going to be able to handle a full day. Since we had tickets to the opera that night, and I had been told that particular opera was a long one, I was definitely concerned. And mad. I didn't have much time in NYC, and I didn't want to spend my afternoon lounging in front of a television. We had an early lunch, in hopes that the food and the rest would help rejuvenate me, but it wasn't enough. We ended up back in the hotel for an afternoon rest. Once we got to the opera, we had to head all the way up to the family circle (and those familiar with the Met know what I mean by ALL the way up), and I didn't realize how much that would take out of me. I sat on the aisle, disoriented and nauseous, wondering if I was going to be able to handle staying up there for the 3+ hours of the opera. Well, I was OK after a little while, but I have to confess - what saved me was a short nap during Act I. Yes, I went to the Met...and I slept. There, I said it. And I felt better, too!
I had fun, but it was a tough trip, and I blame my illness for that. Outside, it was very cold, but the buildings were nice and toasty. So I had to bundle up to go outside, but was way too hot once inside. Yeah, just what a heat-sensitive person needs. And when you're feeling worn out and unsteady, the last thing you want to be dealing with is large crowds of people bumping into you.
It was a sad realization that my MS is going to affect our vacation plans in the future. I used to enjoy getting up early, sightseeing until we were tired, taking a short nap, and then heading out for a nice dinner. But now, I have to get used to the fact that the sightseeing period is shorter and shorter, while the nap period is longer and longer. And it's so hard to plan a multi-day calendar of events when you're not sure how much energy you'll have left at the end of Day 1.
On the bright side, our next scheduled vacation is a long weekend at the Greenbrier, so I think I'll be able to enjoy that, MS or no. After all, it will have about the same pace as our anniversary weekend did, and that was a delightful and rejuvenating experience.
Friday, December 06, 2002
We're OK.
On Wednesday, central North Carolina received a terrible ice storm. It looks like we got 1/2-1 inch of ice before it ended yesterday afternoon. Anything over 1/4 inch can spell trouble for trees and power lines. Needless to say, Raleigh is a mess.
I left work as soon as the sleet started on Wednesday, around 1:45 pm. The roads were crowded, but I got home in about 45 minutes (about the same amount of time as it takes during rush hour). Tim waited until 3pm to leave Chapel Hill. He can usually get home in about 45 minutes too, since he doesn't go during rush hour, but it took him 3 hours to get out of Chapel Hill. He walked into our house around 8pm. That's how quickly conditions detereorated.
Our power went out just after midnight. By the time we woke up the next morning, the house was already down to 58 degrees. Since it stayed in the 20's all day, the house just kept getting colder and colder. We sat in front of the fire, and we could heat water since we have a gas stove. We found out that our friend's hot dog place was open, so we headed out there for lunch. We also picked up some hot dogs and coffee for my parents. While at their house, my sister called to say her power had been restored, so we all pulled stuff out of our fridges, packed overnight bags, and headed to her place. Her power went back out sometime after 4am, but it was restored around 9:30.
Over a million people in NC, about half of which are in this area, lost power in this storm. That's double the total from previous disasters like Hurricanes Fran and Hugo. I'm amazed how quickly they're getting power back to folks. Our local electric company thinks they'll have everyone restored by the end of the day today. Wow - those guys are thoroughly impressing me with their hard work and dedication.
My office was closed Thursday and Friday, but Tim had to go to work today. When he got to the house this morning, he called us to let us know that we had power back! I'm letting the house warm up before I head back over there.
Safe and sound...and grateful that none of us have significant house or car damage. There are a number of people in this area who weren't so lucky.
On Wednesday, central North Carolina received a terrible ice storm. It looks like we got 1/2-1 inch of ice before it ended yesterday afternoon. Anything over 1/4 inch can spell trouble for trees and power lines. Needless to say, Raleigh is a mess.
I left work as soon as the sleet started on Wednesday, around 1:45 pm. The roads were crowded, but I got home in about 45 minutes (about the same amount of time as it takes during rush hour). Tim waited until 3pm to leave Chapel Hill. He can usually get home in about 45 minutes too, since he doesn't go during rush hour, but it took him 3 hours to get out of Chapel Hill. He walked into our house around 8pm. That's how quickly conditions detereorated.
Our power went out just after midnight. By the time we woke up the next morning, the house was already down to 58 degrees. Since it stayed in the 20's all day, the house just kept getting colder and colder. We sat in front of the fire, and we could heat water since we have a gas stove. We found out that our friend's hot dog place was open, so we headed out there for lunch. We also picked up some hot dogs and coffee for my parents. While at their house, my sister called to say her power had been restored, so we all pulled stuff out of our fridges, packed overnight bags, and headed to her place. Her power went back out sometime after 4am, but it was restored around 9:30.
Over a million people in NC, about half of which are in this area, lost power in this storm. That's double the total from previous disasters like Hurricanes Fran and Hugo. I'm amazed how quickly they're getting power back to folks. Our local electric company thinks they'll have everyone restored by the end of the day today. Wow - those guys are thoroughly impressing me with their hard work and dedication.
My office was closed Thursday and Friday, but Tim had to go to work today. When he got to the house this morning, he called us to let us know that we had power back! I'm letting the house warm up before I head back over there.
Safe and sound...and grateful that none of us have significant house or car damage. There are a number of people in this area who weren't so lucky.
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
My back is doing better today. I went home last night and did my Stress Relief Yoga for Beginners tape. I stretched a little farther than the last time I did it, but I still laughed out loud a few times during the video. The instructor would place a yoga block down and say things like, "Place your head on the block as you stretch." Yeah, right...in my dreams, maybe!
But the only way for it to get easier is for me to keep trying. If I don't stretch, I'll just get tighter. But if I keep trying, and keep working at it, I'll improve. I'll stop hurting as much. And I'll be able to do more.
But the only way for it to get easier is for me to keep trying. If I don't stretch, I'll just get tighter. But if I keep trying, and keep working at it, I'll improve. I'll stop hurting as much. And I'll be able to do more.
Monday, November 25, 2002
Shot Night - My favorite shot location is the top of my legs (if you can have favorites for stuff like that). It's the easiest to access, so I'm less likely to hurt myself. And now that I know what I'm doing, I don't leave much of a mark.
This weekend - This weekend was a toughie. Saturday, I got tired during my grocery shopping, so I didn't get to finish my errands or go to a concert with Tim that night.
Here's how tired I was -- UVA beat Maryland by 5 touchdowns and NC State upset Florida State, and all I could do was sit on the couch and smile. Usually, watching football is an aerobic activity for me, because I'll be yelling, pumping my arms, and jumping out of the chair, so this is the true indication that I was a worn-out puppy that day.
Then I had trouble sleeping, since I had been resting/napping all afternoon and evening, which meant I wasn't in the best shape on Sunday. But there was a roomful of second-graders and their parents waiting to learn music from me at the start of Sunday School, so I had to be at church by 9:30 no matter what.
And oops, my days of long marathon shopping sessions at the mall are over! Actually, any sort of activity that requires me to be on my feet for a long time without a break is on the no-no list. I started fading as we were doing the return lap of the mall, and I wanted to keep going because I hate shopping after Thanksgiving. I was in such bad shape by the time we got done that we didn't even stop in the food court for a drink, because Tim thought we needed to get me back to the car. Given the back spasms I was having, I think it was the right call.
I kept having back spasms the rest of the night. If I stood for more than a couple of minutes, I would have more spasms. Tim heated up my herbal back pillow before I went to bed, and I felt lots better when I woke up.
Today - I'm doing better today. My upper back is stiff because of this weekend's trouble, but I'm moving around just fine. Some little twinges of discomfort, but no spasms. I have just got to learn that there are major consequences to me pushing my body farther than it can be handled. I just don't like to slow down.
This weekend - This weekend was a toughie. Saturday, I got tired during my grocery shopping, so I didn't get to finish my errands or go to a concert with Tim that night.
Here's how tired I was -- UVA beat Maryland by 5 touchdowns and NC State upset Florida State, and all I could do was sit on the couch and smile. Usually, watching football is an aerobic activity for me, because I'll be yelling, pumping my arms, and jumping out of the chair, so this is the true indication that I was a worn-out puppy that day.
Then I had trouble sleeping, since I had been resting/napping all afternoon and evening, which meant I wasn't in the best shape on Sunday. But there was a roomful of second-graders and their parents waiting to learn music from me at the start of Sunday School, so I had to be at church by 9:30 no matter what.
And oops, my days of long marathon shopping sessions at the mall are over! Actually, any sort of activity that requires me to be on my feet for a long time without a break is on the no-no list. I started fading as we were doing the return lap of the mall, and I wanted to keep going because I hate shopping after Thanksgiving. I was in such bad shape by the time we got done that we didn't even stop in the food court for a drink, because Tim thought we needed to get me back to the car. Given the back spasms I was having, I think it was the right call.
I kept having back spasms the rest of the night. If I stood for more than a couple of minutes, I would have more spasms. Tim heated up my herbal back pillow before I went to bed, and I felt lots better when I woke up.
Today - I'm doing better today. My upper back is stiff because of this weekend's trouble, but I'm moving around just fine. Some little twinges of discomfort, but no spasms. I have just got to learn that there are major consequences to me pushing my body farther than it can be handled. I just don't like to slow down.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Flu shot - I got my flu shot yesterday. I was worried there would be some hassle, since one of the questions on the consent form is, "Do you have an active neurological disorder?" I doubt they get a whole lot of "Yes" answers to that one during these clinics at businesses. But when I explained to the nurse that I have MS and had talked to my neurologist, she just made a note on my consent form and stuck the needle in my arm.
Now that shot hurts. My arm still aches today, and it hurt to sleep on it last night. I told Tim that if I had had the flu shot before he gave me my last shot, he would have easily scored a '5' on the comfort scale, because the last shot he gave me hurt a lot less than this one. I know I'm comparing apples to oranges, but both of the needles went into my right arm.
Other stuff - Last night, I was cleaning, and I found a CD of David's Landers book Fall Down Laughing. Now, I would highly recommend this book to anyone who's newly diagnosed, or to the support people for an MS patient. It's the autobiography of the actor who played Squiggy on Laverne & Shirley. I read it right after my diagnosis, and laughed and cried as I read about his struggles to keep his MS a secret. He was so concerned about how his diagnosis would affect his ability to get work that he preferred that people mistakenly attributed his behavior to alcoholism. It was enlightening to read someone else's day-to-day struggles, but most importantly, I needed the reminder of how important it is to keep your sense of humor. Some of the personal stories of MS patients are depressing and can really be intimidating to a newly diagnosed person, while others can be quite helpful. This one falls into the latter category.
Now that shot hurts. My arm still aches today, and it hurt to sleep on it last night. I told Tim that if I had had the flu shot before he gave me my last shot, he would have easily scored a '5' on the comfort scale, because the last shot he gave me hurt a lot less than this one. I know I'm comparing apples to oranges, but both of the needles went into my right arm.
Other stuff - Last night, I was cleaning, and I found a CD of David's Landers book Fall Down Laughing. Now, I would highly recommend this book to anyone who's newly diagnosed, or to the support people for an MS patient. It's the autobiography of the actor who played Squiggy on Laverne & Shirley. I read it right after my diagnosis, and laughed and cried as I read about his struggles to keep his MS a secret. He was so concerned about how his diagnosis would affect his ability to get work that he preferred that people mistakenly attributed his behavior to alcoholism. It was enlightening to read someone else's day-to-day struggles, but most importantly, I needed the reminder of how important it is to keep your sense of humor. Some of the personal stories of MS patients are depressing and can really be intimidating to a newly diagnosed person, while others can be quite helpful. This one falls into the latter category.
Saturday, November 16, 2002
Today is one of my rougher days, physically. When I woke up this morning, it was very hard to get out of bed because of the pain in my back. As I struggled to get to my feet, I thought, "This is what they mean in the booklet by 'transfer' issues."
I did my AM Yoga for Beginners tape, hoping it would make me feel better. Oh, it was torture at times. It was a struggle just to lay down on the yoga mat to start the practice. I had warned Tim in advance that he might hear some strange sounds as I moaned and groaned my way through the program. I did not disappoint. The noises ranged from the pleasant shock of doing the best cobra pose I've done in ages to the frustrated giggles as I tried to lasso my left foot with a yoga strap to the painful groans as I made my body move. It was a struggle, but I got through the entire program, and I definitely felt better for doing so.
I'm going to start an exercise journal so that I remember what I feel like when I exercise vs. how I feel when I don't. It can be a helpful thing to track as well for my neurology appointments, so that my doctor and I can figure out how much of my pain and movement trouble is due to MS and how much is just due to inactivity.
Did I mention that I've struggled today?
Shot Night - Last night was shot night again. Tim gave me the shot in my right arm. He's getting quite good at this - very little pain or blood. He's been teasing me, though, because I flinched during the shot. He also picked on me when I rated the shot in my journal.
I have a journal where I keep track of the shots - when I took them (date and time) and in what part of the body. There's also a place for notes about side effects, so I can remember things to tell my doctors. Each week also has a place to rate on a scale of 1-5 how comfortable I was with the shot. He got a 2 the first time he gave me a shot in my right arm, but he earned a 4 yesterday. He teased me about this, since I gave myself a 5 last week. He wants to know what it will take to get a 5 one week. (Not sure, but it may involve chocolate!)
I did my AM Yoga for Beginners tape, hoping it would make me feel better. Oh, it was torture at times. It was a struggle just to lay down on the yoga mat to start the practice. I had warned Tim in advance that he might hear some strange sounds as I moaned and groaned my way through the program. I did not disappoint. The noises ranged from the pleasant shock of doing the best cobra pose I've done in ages to the frustrated giggles as I tried to lasso my left foot with a yoga strap to the painful groans as I made my body move. It was a struggle, but I got through the entire program, and I definitely felt better for doing so.
I'm going to start an exercise journal so that I remember what I feel like when I exercise vs. how I feel when I don't. It can be a helpful thing to track as well for my neurology appointments, so that my doctor and I can figure out how much of my pain and movement trouble is due to MS and how much is just due to inactivity.
Did I mention that I've struggled today?
Shot Night - Last night was shot night again. Tim gave me the shot in my right arm. He's getting quite good at this - very little pain or blood. He's been teasing me, though, because I flinched during the shot. He also picked on me when I rated the shot in my journal.
I have a journal where I keep track of the shots - when I took them (date and time) and in what part of the body. There's also a place for notes about side effects, so I can remember things to tell my doctors. Each week also has a place to rate on a scale of 1-5 how comfortable I was with the shot. He got a 2 the first time he gave me a shot in my right arm, but he earned a 4 yesterday. He teased me about this, since I gave myself a 5 last week. He wants to know what it will take to get a 5 one week. (Not sure, but it may involve chocolate!)
Friday, November 15, 2002
I've been reading a booklet on MS & Fatigue that I got from the National MS Society. Part of the problem is figuring out what can be attributed to the MS, and what can be attributed to the fact that I haven't been exercising consistently for several months. For example, am I tired because I'm not exercising, or am I not exercising because I'm too tired? Is the stiffness in my muscles and back caused by my MS or my inconsistent exercise non-habits? Or is it a combination of both? I feel like it's one of those chicken-or-the-egg type riddles.
The booklet recommends stretching exercises for the stiffness and fatigue, whether it's caused by MS or not. I've got a nice collection of yoga videos (and, as I've mentioned before, high praise for Gaiam, the company that sells them). I'm trying to incorporate those videos in as often as possible. And on those days when I don't do a video, I'm trying to do some stretching while I watch TV.
So far this month I've tried two new videos. Stress Relief Yoga for Beginners was great. I was in a bad mood when I started, and I felt better mentally and physically once I was done. I did Gentle Yoga for Beginners for the first time last night. Whoa! It didn't feel so gentle while I was doing it. I could really feel the stretch. But afterwards, I felt terrific. If I had overdone it, I would be feeling sore today, but I don't - I feel good.
It was sad during both videos how stiff I was. I couldn't go very deeply into the poses at all, even with the assistance of props. But what did I expect? When I was exercising regularly, I was taking a yoga class once a week. Of course I could do more then! I just keep reminding myself how quickly I saw improvement that time. The instructor at my gym complimented me after the 4th or 5th week, telling me that he could tell a big difference in my poses. When I thought about it, he was right. I was reaching farther and able to go deeper into the pose.
I'm also looking at other things I can do to improve my energy level. I've been sleeping rather well, so I don't think I need to mess with my sleep habits much. Plus, I do a good job of heading up to bed early on nights when I'm tired.
I will work on my nutrition habits, so that I can get more energy from food instead of making energy-draining choices. I've got a couple of good books that I'm using as resources. I'm starting with baby steps, like making sure I take my vitamin every day, and trying to cut down on the junk while I add high-calcium foods. I made a list of steps in my journal last night that I can take. I'm focusing on the ones that only take a few minutes, like taking the vitamin, so that I can build up to the more imposing ones (or figure out ways to break those down into smaller, less imposing tasks).
The booklet recommends stretching exercises for the stiffness and fatigue, whether it's caused by MS or not. I've got a nice collection of yoga videos (and, as I've mentioned before, high praise for Gaiam, the company that sells them). I'm trying to incorporate those videos in as often as possible. And on those days when I don't do a video, I'm trying to do some stretching while I watch TV.
So far this month I've tried two new videos. Stress Relief Yoga for Beginners was great. I was in a bad mood when I started, and I felt better mentally and physically once I was done. I did Gentle Yoga for Beginners for the first time last night. Whoa! It didn't feel so gentle while I was doing it. I could really feel the stretch. But afterwards, I felt terrific. If I had overdone it, I would be feeling sore today, but I don't - I feel good.
It was sad during both videos how stiff I was. I couldn't go very deeply into the poses at all, even with the assistance of props. But what did I expect? When I was exercising regularly, I was taking a yoga class once a week. Of course I could do more then! I just keep reminding myself how quickly I saw improvement that time. The instructor at my gym complimented me after the 4th or 5th week, telling me that he could tell a big difference in my poses. When I thought about it, he was right. I was reaching farther and able to go deeper into the pose.
I'm also looking at other things I can do to improve my energy level. I've been sleeping rather well, so I don't think I need to mess with my sleep habits much. Plus, I do a good job of heading up to bed early on nights when I'm tired.
I will work on my nutrition habits, so that I can get more energy from food instead of making energy-draining choices. I've got a couple of good books that I'm using as resources. I'm starting with baby steps, like making sure I take my vitamin every day, and trying to cut down on the junk while I add high-calcium foods. I made a list of steps in my journal last night that I can take. I'm focusing on the ones that only take a few minutes, like taking the vitamin, so that I can build up to the more imposing ones (or figure out ways to break those down into smaller, less imposing tasks).
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
I can't believe I forgot to report on this yesterday!
I had a follow-up appointment with my eye doctor on Monday. Nothing better to do on a rainy Monday than get burning drops in my eyes to dilate my pupils. Party. But the results were really good. There is a little damage to the nerve, and that's just not going to change. But my vision did improve some. It was a blurry 20/30 in May, but now the blurriness is gone. Can't complain.
I had a follow-up appointment with my eye doctor on Monday. Nothing better to do on a rainy Monday than get burning drops in my eyes to dilate my pupils. Party. But the results were really good. There is a little damage to the nerve, and that's just not going to change. But my vision did improve some. It was a blurry 20/30 in May, but now the blurriness is gone. Can't complain.
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
I got an email from a friend, who offered to have his wife come over and give me my shots since she's trained and experienced. It was a gracious offer, but I declined. The shot isn't the bad part for me anymore. I mean, it's weird to have to go through the whole routine, but it doesn't hurt, and I don't mind giving me the shot. If anything, it's a bit of pride for me every week. After all, there are a lot of people who can't give themselves an injection, they just can't. I worried that I'd be one. But I can do it, and it's a positive reminder about overcoming fear.
The bad part is the uncertainty of the side effects. Fortunately, I've been having more good weeks than bad lately. This past week has been great, and I didn't have any of the bothersome side effects. Now I know that when I'm not feeling well when I take the shot, I'm going to feel the side effects more. Just knowing that is comforting. I'm the kind of person who likes to know what to expect and hates certainty. That's why this stupid illness can get to me every once in awhile.
Tim slipped up early in my illness and called it remitting-repulsive MS, instead of relapsing-remitting. I absolutely love that term, and I use it when I'm frustrated or in a bad mood. It cheers me up.
The bad part is the uncertainty of the side effects. Fortunately, I've been having more good weeks than bad lately. This past week has been great, and I didn't have any of the bothersome side effects. Now I know that when I'm not feeling well when I take the shot, I'm going to feel the side effects more. Just knowing that is comforting. I'm the kind of person who likes to know what to expect and hates certainty. That's why this stupid illness can get to me every once in awhile.
Tim slipped up early in my illness and called it remitting-repulsive MS, instead of relapsing-remitting. I absolutely love that term, and I use it when I'm frustrated or in a bad mood. It cheers me up.
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